I was reflecting today two days back at work after the festive break about just how swift the holiday period actually is and indeed how strange the whole period actually is where the normality of the week seems to head off into a parallel universe. Where no one seems to quite know what day of the week it actually is. It is odd, somehow the days get stretched and merge into each other, so you are never quite sure where Saturday and Sunday actually have gone, or have they yet to arrive.?
Yes no doubt about it a very surreal period and no matter how hard I try I always seem to have spent a fortune although I am never quite sure just what I have spent it on. And then when the present giving dust has finally settled I reflect on the collection of gifts that I have somehow managed to accumulate. Normally it is to be fair a mixed but good bag, a nice collection of decent knitwear, comfy tee shirts and a new crop of socks that seem to have replaced those old soldiers lost over the year due to holes in the big toe (the most common cause of sock death in my experience ) in addition a mottly collection of toiletries that this year included bath salts and luxurious potions which although lovely do not yet warrant the purchase of a bath, which at present I do not have.
Another interesting observation is that I have also some how been promoted into a new level of old English gentleman that I had not achieved before. I have normally been a sort of chap who goes shopping at Debenhams and buys Jeff Banks jeans, shirts, and suits, suddenly it seems that other kind souls have moved me on be more like Geoff Banks shopping at Moss Brothers. In deed I feel only one step away from starting to drive my car wearing some sort of hat and leather gloves irrespective of the weather. And of course as part of the package that requires driving at thirty miles an hour irrespective of road or expected speed, and that dead fish eye old school of motoring where you stare forward constantly, never looking sideways. Mind you that is a bonus as you never see the tirades of abuse that are being bestowed upon by those poor souls who have been crawling along behind you when they get the chance to actually get ahead of you, some two hours later than scheduled.
Indeed one of my small regrets looking back was this novelty thing that you could buy from a thing called a catalogue which were famous before the internet, drones and amazon, this was a contraption that you attach to the dashboard of your motor car. It was on reflection a stroke of sheer genius and a great alternative to road rage. Basically it was a gadget that allowed you to press a button that allowed the device to make a sound like rapid machine gun fire, or artilery shells, some ever had star wars weopons systems noises. So, should you find yourself trapped behind an old gentleman like like me doing 30 on a hilly B road with no options for overtaking for miles on end, it would at least allow you to set off rapid bursts when chance allowed.
Anyway that was then and this is now todays modern warfare systems do not need any noises, a carefully piloted drone operated from a truck somewhere miles away from the battle field is all that is needed now to send enemies to Valhalla. And the good news is that you can buy them yourself on Woucher delivered next day by Amazon, so no more disputes with the noisy neighbours about car parking just a carefully directed IED drone should sort that out. Technology its great is not it, happy New Year.